Medical Freedom: Hand Delivered

I have the strangest feeling of complete freedom; despite a normally fear-inducing circumstance.

I lost my health insurance this month.

The details aren’t important, but I will state it isn’t my fault and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. Nada. Zip. Zilch. I don’t usually contend well with these sturdy inabilities to change things, but it is what it is.

I got the notice in the mail. It didn’t make sense so I was a bit confused. But more perplexed than by the words within the envelope, I was stunned by the noticeable missing pit in my stomach. Where was that rock hard feeling that sits in my gut when I deal with anything medical?

My family has gone nearly broke trying to sustain my healthcare in the last few years, so why was I not completely scared of a future without my beloved Blue Cross buddy? It certainly isn’t for the lack of understanding the negative impact of having NO INSURANCE. I keep saying it aloud to see if it starts to terrify me. Everyone who knows me, is well aware that I am the biggest proponent of insurance. Yes, it’s expensive and still often doesn’t cover what you need (you can argue with me till you’re blue and my reasons for having it will always win), but it covers a lot more than your cash would or should.

All that is irrelevant though at this point. It’s gone. I am on my own.

And in the most transparent revelation that I’ve had since I can remember, not being bound by the safety net of this bureaucracy feels as if I have just been set free from chains. It is the absence of the invisible walls of the medical system prison I am used to living in. It is simply that I am finally not a hostage of thoughts so tightly impacted by what has always been (sickness), that I am not consumed with “what might be” (more sickness).

I am not high risk anymore in the same sense.

I am not a “sick person” who needs care on a daily basis.

I am normal to the point that this risk I am forced to take, is no worse a risk than if anyone else took it.

I don't fit in some special category labeled "FRAGILE" anymore.

I am healthy.

And I am ecstatically and undoubtedly free from a kind of fear I never even knew was possible to live without.

Thank you Dr. Shroff and Dr. Ashish. Thank you for giving me embryonic stem cells, but infusing me with just as much hope. Thank you for giving me the strength to inspire others. Thank you for a pioneerism that is unmatchable.

As I make my way through my eighth month in my incredibly strong and healthy body, I realize that what you gave me was an unthinkable gift of so many things I can easily name; but more importantly, some that I didn’t even know I was missing.

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About Amy B. Scher

A passionate author, pioneering patient, and sassy spirit with just enough sweetness to get me by, I live by my self-created motto: when life kicks your ass, kick back.Amy B. Scher's profile Amy B. Scher's blog